I’m so glad you could finally come visit. I’d love to show you the house but first you should really see the chickens. This is the coop. I used to have a smaller one but then I got more chickens. I had to buy a bigger coop that had room for even more chickens. Then I got more chickens.
Most of the chickens are inside. Look at all their different colors and patterns. How many do we have? That’s a bit of a personal question. What I can tell you is that we almost have enough chickens. Todd and I had no idea how much we would enjoy the chickens until we got some. It’s so relaxing. I sit outside and watch them for hours. That one has a mop of feathers on top of its head. This one tried to fly over the neighbor’s fence and eat their lettuce last week so we had to clip her wings. Yes, chickens can fly.
Have you ever tried to catch a chicken? They’re surprisingly fast. It’s great exercise, trying to run after your chickens. No really! It was even in a movie once. The main guy is training to be a boxer and has to catch chickens. He couldn’t do it and he was in great shape. I’ve gotten pretty good at catching them now. I think I might run a marathon.
What? I have a chicken on my head? Oh yes that happens a lot. She’ll come down when she’s ready. Those shallow dirt holes are where the chickens like to take dust baths. We were thinking about tearing up the lawn anyway and are so glad the chickens did it for us. Lawns are bad for the environment, you know. No, we can’t plant anything else there. The chickens might tear it up. But I’m saving so much time on yard maintenance!
Let me show you the nest area where they lay their eggs. Oh look, Patricia is sitting on a pile of them. Stop! I wouldn’t touch her if I were you. She’s very protective of her eggs. Yes, that is her making that noise. Did you know chickens are related to dinosaurs? You don’t want to make them angry. Ha ha. Imagine if they were six feet tall. We’d all be in real trouble. I’ll reach in and grab the eggs when she’s asleep. I bought a headlamp a few weeks ago just for the occasion.
We have so many eggs these days anyway it’s really no rush. Their eggs come in so many different colors: there are brown ones and blue ones and green ones and pink ones on and on. It’s like a rainbow. We keep them on the countertop so we can look at them. We redid the countertops a while ago but now you can’t even see them because of all the chicken eggs! Isn’t that funny? Todd thinks it’s hilarious. The eggs don’t actually have to be refrigerated until you wash them. In Europe all the eggs are unwashed, but that’s America for you. You said there’s another chicken on me? I’m sure she’ll go away eventually. I don’t want to antagonize them.
We love the eggs from our backyard chickens. You can’t get fresher than that. And they’re free! Not counting the cost of feed and the coop and paying the neighbor because our chickens flew over and ate their roses but free! Can’t beat that price. It’s important to know where your food came from and I know that this egg came from Henrietta and that one is from Dolly and another is from Ethel. We like to say a little thank you to each chicken before using the eggs. Todd and I have switched to an egg-based diet. Isn’t it great that you can eat eggs for every meal? We both think it’s great.
Here, take these eggs with you when you go. They’re from our chickens. You can’t get anything like this in the store.
News from the Coop
It has been quite a month! The biggest news is that the audiobook for Under the Henfluence—read by me—is finally out. Order it wherever you like to get audiobooks though I recommend Libro.fm which supports local bookstores.
You might have heard me talking about chickens in approximately one million places. I finally got to the point yesterday where I realized I’ve memorized the answer to a couple questions I get all the time. I’ve spent 15 of the last 25 days on the road and will be doing another overnight in Seattle on Thursday for an event with Kelly Jones (whose middle grade series Unusual Chickens for the Exceptional Poultry Farmer is an absolute favorite of mine!) at Third Place Books. Come say hello and tell me about chickens!
If you want a personalized copy—maybe for a birthday or Mother’s or Father’s day present—you can order one from my wonderful local bookstore Broadway Books! Just put the personalization request in the comments at check out. Order with plenty of time to spare if you need it by a certain date (if you need a Mother’s Day present, put in that order now!) and be prepared to be patient. I have to go there in person to sign and, as mentioned, I am on the road a lot right now.
The girls are generally happy in their new coop. They’ve been on flockdown with migration and the random appearance of a goose in the yard but should be getting some outside time this week. I can only hope that I can get some outside time too. The garden is beckoning and it’s supposed to be in the 70s this week.
If you need a chicken fix before the next newsletter, you can follow me on Twitter or Instagram.
If you liked this email, please share the newsletter with a chicken or animal lover in your life! As always, email me at underthehenfluence@gmail.com with any tips or comments. See you next month.